Whether you are a seasoned business owner or just venturing on your first entrepreneurial journey, you probably remember a time in which having unhealthy or non-existent boundaries created conflict in your life. Have you ever said "yes" to adding one more task to your already impossible to complete to-do list? We have all been there, done that.
Recognizing when it's appropriate to say no sounds like an easy task, but it trips many people up. Ever had a hard time telling your child that he or she couldn't get a new toy or participate in an activity? As parents, we want to provide our children with not only their needs but also their wants.
A nostalgic example of how vital boundaries are comes from "The Simpsons" cartoon.
Bart Simpson's pranks are notorious for getting him into trouble. In one episode, Bart gets into serious trouble for a prank. Marge and Homer decide to put their foot down and banish him to his room with no dessert. While in his room, Bart is confident that one of his parents will give in and release him from his punishment. After what seems like forever, Bart starts rethinking his mischievous ways. He promises aloud to be a good boy because his parents were, for once, serious about sticking to the boundaries they set.
But in the final minutes of the episode, Homer sneaks upstairs and gives Bart some dessert. Bart, realizing that his parents have poor boundaries, does his infamous laugh, "Ha, Ha, Ha….Sucker!" Bart's boundary-testing pranks are part of what makes "The Simpsons," the long-standing satirical animated genius of its time.
Realistically, we recognize how problematic it can be to play fast and loose with boundaries with our children, but the same rules apply when business is involved. We all want to make a good impression or put in the extra hours to get that project done, but ask yourself, "at what cost?"
When we say "yes" to something, we say "no" to other opportunities in our lives.
Society tells women, in particular, to work harder than their male counterparts to be taken seriously and to become successful. Not having boundaries affects both our business and personal lives. It's a slippery slope; once you start to let one thing slide, it's easy to fall into a continuous cycle of poor and unhealthy boundaries.
What exactly do unhealthy boundaries look like in business?
Constantly feeling overwhelmed, overworked, and burnt out are signs that your boundaries need to be checked and readjusted. Accepting clients outside of your posted business hours is one surefire way to quick burnout. Imagine opening your availability to accommodate all of your clients' varying schedules. Think about that for a moment. How awesome would it be if our favorite store offered hours to fit our plans? You might get a sale, but at what cost? While your family is out enjoying a beautiful Saturday afternoon, you're stuck at work. Perhaps you're not in the office, but you're home and connected to your laptop, phone, and email. There's no quality time spent with your loved ones. The tension in your relationship can quickly mount.
As business owners, we recognize that customers are essential to your success, whether you have a product or service-based company. But are there any limitations on how much access you give to them?
So How Do You Set Boundaries?
First, decide who your ideal client is and stop trying to fit your business to meet everyone's needs.
Defining your niche and understanding your avatar should be done well before opening your doors. If you haven't niched down, now is the time. When first starting, you might be tempted to get any clients in the door or on your calendar. Working outside of your specialty and ideal client is another fast way to burnout. Before you know it, there's less enjoyment in your work and eventually resenting your own business. If you've ever heard of the saying, 'jack of all trades, master of none,' you understand the plight. Focus on the one thing you're great at and make sure your sales copy speaks to your avatar. For those who are outside of your niche, refer them to another great business. This referral process is an essential step in building genuine relationships with other business owners. Clients will also appreciate you looking out for their best interest and may refer someone to your business in the future.
Next, have an honest conversation with yourself about your ability to hold clients and yourself accountable.
Review your policies and disclosures. You must enforce your policies if you ever want to be respected in your business. Remember how Bart went back on his promise to be good once Homer displayed poor boundary enforcement? If you have a cancellation policy in your consent and disclosures, clearly explain to your client upfront and hold them accountable. Having accountability doesn't mean that you are so rigid that you never give anyone a break, but make exceptions sparingly. When you hold space for someone who doesn't respect your time, you deny that opportunity for others. That time could go to another client, or you could have enjoyed time with your loved ones.
Finally, remind yourself of your mission and vision for your business.
As an entrepreneur, you have the opportunity to create the business life you want to live. How does your business's mission align with your life? Many entrepreneurs wish for financial freedom and to spend more time with loved ones. When you start to feel burnt out, overworked, and off-center, remind yourself of your mission and values. Use these as a gauge for how well you are running your business.
Healthy business boundaries will ensure you remain true to your commitments to yourself, your brand, and your family.
Dr. LaQuista Erinna is a licensed therapist, speaker, and author. As an Army Veteran and former military spouse, she is passionate about eliminating mental health stigma in military communities. She enjoys educating and inspiring others about mental health & wellness, resiliency, and women’s empowerment. To connect with Dr. LaQuista, visit https://laquistaerinnaspeaks.com/ or @laquistaerinna on social media.
