8 Ways to Gift Yourself This Holiday Season

I love to give! It truly brings me joy. Unfortunately, I can give too much of myself, especially during the holiday season. 

Knowing this, I have to purposely prioritize what I would usually just be able to do. This means taking care of my physical, mental, and spiritual health. I mean, the holidays are stressful. I wish I could just say, “It doesn’t have to be,” but I don’t think that's the right thing to say. I think it would be better to say, “What is your strategy to get through the stress?” 

My answer to that is - take care of yourself FIRST! This is why I decided to give myself a gift of 8 reminders that I can turn to during my daily quiet time. And now, I’d love to give them to you! I hope they help you in your holiday stress strategy. 

Christmas Gift for Yourself Checklist

1. Don’t try to do everything by yourself. Instead, allow others to help. And don’t be afraid to ask for help (this includes asking your spouse).

2. Accept that perfection is a perception that differs with each person. Sometimes, we get caught up in appearing “perfect” to someone in our family or even ourselves, but we need to cut ourselves some slack.

3. The holidays shouldn’t be a time that you dread or suffer through. Take time for yourself, even if it’s 15 minutes of alone time. Shoot, hide in the closet if you have to with your favorite glass of something, some chocolate, maybe an adult coloring book, anything that allows you to be you. I like to listen to audiobooks that help remind me to show myself respect and love.

4. Don’t allow crap from your past (even past holidays) to ruin this one. You can do NOTHING about anything that happened in the past. To sound super cliche - the best present you can give yourself and your family is to be present. It’s not easy, but you are only given each moment as it happens. You cannot live backward (unfortunately, too many of us live our lives this way).

5. Be grateful. Write down at least three things you are grateful for, either on your phone or on a piece of paper. Keep this with you during the holidays and when you feel stressed, look at it and breathe.

6. Know when to say “no” and when to say “yes.” The easiest way to do this is to ask yourself, “Will doing this show me respect?” This is not to be acted upon selfishly, meaning do not have the “it’s my way or the highway” kind of attitude. That’s not what self-respect is anyways. I say this from experience that memories are made during this time that impacts each person deeply and differently, especially if you have kiddos. If you know you have a kiddo that doesn’t like to hug others, don’t force them. If your spouse is deployed and it’s just you and your kiddos, find a way to make it a fun day. Trust me; I’ve been there multiple times. (And for goodness sake, do NOT listen to I’ll Be Home for Christmas!) If you need to get your crying out, do what I suggested in #3 and once you’re done, remember - you only have now.

7. If you know someone who’s spending the holiday season alone, reach out to them for whatever reason. Maybe they still want to be alone, but you can always drop off some goodies to them just to let them know you care.

8. Know that you indeed are a superhero - you are a warrior - you are beautiful - you are strong - you are courageous - you are brave. So allow yourself the freedom to believe and accept yourself for the person you are and the person you’re becoming.

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Caroline loves to surround herself with wonder and creativity. Naturally curious, she enjoys adventures, whether through a nice walk or a good book. Her time is often spent recording voiceovers, preparing for interviews, writing articles, or editing audio. As a military spouse of 18 years, she will be the first to tell you that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to, especially when you have a team of other military spouses to lean on and turn to. You can keep up with Caroline on IG @carolinekschafer.

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Overcoming Imposter Syndrome with Life Coach Shanita Liu

In 2015, Shanita Liu experienced burnout in a major way, and it changed her life forever. 

 “I found myself sobbing on the New York City subway on my way to work one morning. I’d had enough. And I had the awakening that the pace at which I was going was no longer serving me.”

She sought out the help of a coach and started the hard work of transformation that led her to her calling—helping women and entrepreneurs confront fear and become their most courageous selves. 

 Her story is one that resonates deeply with military spouses diving into entrepreneurship, often after multiple moves, employment gaps, and years at home raising kids. The challenge, she says, is to learn how to shed ingrained cultural conditioning that often leads to people pleasing and feelings of self doubt. 

Shanita recently sat down with Moni Jefferson—host of AMSE’s podcast Owning Up—to share her tips on overcoming imposter syndrome, learning to trust yourself, and owning your courage in your business.

Confronting your inner critic

Like so many of us, Shanita’s journey from a full-time job to motherhood to an entrepreneur often looked messy, mainly due to noise from her inner critics. 

“I had a whole squad of inner critics who were pulling me down and I was like, oh no, you're not doing me any good. I had to do the work. I had to address all of them. Otherwise, the inner critic will just beat you up.”

The inner critic can take the form of anyone from the past—a teacher, a colleague, a parent—but that voice often holds us back from moving forward in our businesses and lives, Shanita believes. 

“Your inner critic will tell you, ‘You can't do that.’ ‘You shouldn't do that.’ ‘Who the hell do you think you are?’ It’s 24/7, and it’s berating you a lot.”

Dealing with it, she says, is a process of slowing down, practicing regular self-care, and checking in with yourself and the people in your life that you trust. 

“Ask someone close to you if you seem busy all the time,” says Shanita, “and ask yourself, ‘What do I really need?’”

When you’re first building your business and you’re hyper-focused on growing your client list and establishing yourself, it’s easy to become overwhelmed and overworked. 

Stopping to take a pause and reflecting on that overwhelm is the best way to prevent burnout and prioritize rest.

Working through imposter syndrome

“Imposter syndrome can be sneaky,” says Shanita. 

“It can show up as a lot of things besides just burnout and self-doubt. It shows up as analysis paralysis. It shows up as avoidance and procrastination, and compare despair. It also shows up as panic. Imposter syndrome isn’t just in our heads. It’s in our bodies. It can make you physically sick.”

It can also crop up at any point in your journey, especially at times of big growth and even when you think you’ve dealt with it. 

Shanita confessed that even with all of her success, reaching out to AMSE was a big source of fear to her. 

“I was really scared to reach out in the very beginning. I was like, these women are incredible. They've established this amazing network and who am I to even connect with them? Will what I have to say matter?” 

 Fortunately, there are ways to deal with imposter syndrome before it stops your forward momentum. Shanita shared several strategies to work through it: 

Trust yourself 

Trust that you’re being called to serve in this way, even if it’s different than you expect. Trust what you know, and your experience, because it’s uniquely yours. You’re being called to serve in this way, even if it looks different than you thought.

Activate your courage 

You have the inner strength you need to assure yourself when you need it and remind you that life isn’t perfect. 

Remember your why

Remind yourself of the impact you have on others, the connections you’re making, and the big why that drives you in your business. Tap into the essence of who you are. 

Finally, says Shanita, “Give yourself permission to make mistakes and lean into joy while you’re doing it. Remember that we’re all human and we all have moments of insecurity and doubt.”

Courage comes from the heart

To learn more about tapping into your courage and overcoming fear, visit Shanita’s website for a free gift and 30-minute consultation; she also offers 20% off her 1:1 coaching packages for military veterans and families! Catch her recent Tedx Talk, How to Activate Courage, below.

Listen to the full podcast episode here.

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Heather is a fellow military spouse, conversion copywriter and digital marketing strategist. She helps small businesses and entrepreneurs grow their online presence through persuasive website copy and a solid SEO strategy. She’s currently stationed in Fort Leavenworth, KS, with her spouse and twin boys, who just started Kindergarten. You can learn more about her work at her website, HD Copywriting. 

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AMSE Member Spotlight: Reset Your Nutrition Mindset with Busy Babes Nutrition

Mary-Catherine LaBossiere is not trying to sell you another diet program or a quick way to lose a few pounds. In her own words, “I want to reset nutrition mindsets and challenge the ‘rules’ about food and how we eat.”

She definitely had my attention.

As someone who has tried this diet and that exercise program, all with the same unsatisfied feeling of accomplishing very little and still feeling down about my body image, it was refreshing to talk to someone who does not want to sell me a meal plan promising things that seem impossible. 

With Busy Babes Nutrition, Mary-Catherine is looking to work more with her clients’ minds and behaviors as she reteaches their approach to food, diet, and lifestyle.

How She Got Started

She admits that she struggled personally with body image and weight. As a child, she was considered obese. She was bullied and went to extreme measures to lose weight, even to the point of near starvation. As an athlete, she could not keep struggling with her disordered eating and remain healthy.

Mary-Catherine also cites her mom as motivation to help others in their health. Her mom was experiencing health issues but when she visited health professionals, she was told that “you’re just too fat.” There were health diagnoses that were overlooked because of her weight, and she died when Mary-Catherine was young.

These personal experiences and challenges with health and food pushed her to become a registered dietitian. She also holds a Master’s in Public Health, giving her more insight into behaviors and policies regarding food and nutrition. Armed with knowledge and education, she began Busy Babes Nutrition as a way to reach clients on a personal level while remaining flexible to both their lives and hers. As a military spouse, she can take her business with her and reach her clients from anywhere!

Nutrition Advice Without Intimidation

I asked her what the biggest challenges were to build a health and nutrition business, especially in a field that seems oversaturated with others promising so much. Mary-Catherine does acknowledge the high competition among others. Her distinction is in her training and education. She has the scientific knowledge and tools to guide clients! 

Her programs are not a “one size fits all” or a “quick fix.” She has dedicated time and expertise to cultivate plans to work with individual needs. Because every person and everybody is different. “I am not the food police; I’m more of a food therapist,” she said. Changing your mindset and habits should not be intimidating or scary, and she wants to help clients get those answers about food, eating, and exercise from a friendly, educated face.

Another challenge is the reluctance for clients to invest time and money into themselves.

We tend to want change with fast or cheap fixes. But Mary-Catherine will tell you that this is a long process. “I work with clients who can invest at least THREE months of their time. Why? Research shows that it takes 66 days for a new behavior to become automatic. I want to be there to support you through any obstacle you may face.”

By taking the time to really work through biases, rules, and stigmas that are ingrained into culture and society, she can help her clients break through these behaviors to find lasting change and results. 

And she knows that many of us cannot afford expensive plans that do not work. Busy Babes Nutrition does offer a military discount! But again, it is about mindset. While a price seems too high, is it worth the price if the reward is a cognitive and behavioral change to how you approach food and diet? If you have struggled with fad diets and rigorous exercise regimens that do not last, how much money have you wasted on those?

Finally, Mary-Catherine encourages all of us to be our best healthcare advocates.

Take the time to learn about food, lifestyle, and exercise. Consult with dietitians and healthcare providers for your health, not just social media. And most important, stop putting so much pressure on the scale. Health is not a certain number or body shape; it’s individual. The more you work to learn about your own body and habits, the better off you will be.

To learn more about Busy Babes Nutrition and how Mary-Catherine LaBossiere can help you, visit her website here!

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✨ Group Coaching every month, with the opportunity to be an AMSE Group Coach yourself!

✨ Discount in the AMSE Shop!

✨ A FREE 20-second snippet on our official podcast, Owning Up, to promote your business!

Learn more about Premium membership and sign up here!

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Rachel is the co-owner and editor of The Military Mom Collective. She has been an Air Force spouse for 18 years and is a mother of four children. She holds a BA in English and a MA in Management. When not busy with work or her family, she enjoys reading as many books as possible and drinking all the coffee.

Rachel is also the Copy Editor at AMSE and a freelance writer. She has been featured on Are The Mighty, Her View From Home, AMSE, The Beautifull Project, Hand-in-Hand QC, and other publications. She has been blogging for herself and other organizations for over 10 years. She is always trying to stay on top of SEO practices and loves using the power of experiences and storytelling to empower businesses and individuals.

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Wellness for Successful Entrepreneurs: An Interview with Evie King of InDependent

There are many reasons why being a military Spouse entrepreneur has its perks. One of them is to be amongst other like-minded and like-hearted people. The other is having opportunities to collaborate in ways that can make huge impacts.  

Evie King of Independent is one of the many amazing partners that AMSE has had the opportunity to collaborate with. Not only does she wear multiple hats, but she is also a person who has a passion to build up military spouses with their abilities and inspire them to make change for themselves. 

She believes that is not always about what you have done, but what else you can do. 

She started with Independent as a community ambassador and has since taken on the roles of executive director and board vice president. She is passionate about military spouse wellness. She is also very passionate about making sure the leaders of the organization are taking care of their own health and wellness. 

She began her journey in finance working for a glass manufacturer. She absolutely enjoyed seeing the process of how glass was made. Although she did not continue in this career path once she became a military spouse, she sought out other opportunities to bring joy to her life. 

One of these ways was through her current employer and with Independent, gaining skills that she was able to market from her past experiences as a volunteer. 

Evie states that she enjoyed volunteering with organizations that truly believed in helping military spouses. She loves finding ways and feels it is critical to integrate self-care while becoming successful. 

When asked why Independent partnered with AMSE, Evie said it is because they understand the importance of wellness in being successful entrepreneurs. Although Independent approaches wellness from many different branches, two branches important to entrepreneurs focus on occupational and personal growth. 

“From an entrepreneurial standpoint, that is investing in your occupational and personal growth wellness...we want to be able to support all the areas of wellness.”

Evie says that she sees how AMSE truly wants to collaborate with organizations that may have strengths that are not in their wheelhouse. They are not afraid to ask for help. This is a true testament to how the members of the AMSE are as people. They believe in the value of building a community. 

“It made sense to partner together since we are both able to add value to military spouses.” 

When it comes to partnership and this type of community, it made sense to Evie to work with people who truly believe in serving military spouses while using the resources available and working together. That is what truly makes a partnership successful.

Building a business and becoming an entrepreneur can often be lonely and frustrating, especially when starting from scratch. One of the things that Evie wished she would have had was a group that already existed to provide a roadmap on how to start an organization. She wished that there was a support system from an organization like AMSE that valued the sharing of knowledge information. 

As a full volunteer organization dispersed globally, it can often be difficult to keep the camaraderie and foster relationships. Evie has made great use of online platforms like Slack to keep the flow of conversations consistent. They use separate channels for work conversations and non-work conversations.  She has implemented video meetings for a more personal connection and encourages the celebration of achievements. She feels it is very important to celebrate the small things in order to continue building each other up. Group efforts to promote and encourage each other's wellness are very impactful in this type of community. 

She works tirelessly on finding opportunities for individuals on the team to work together. She encourages her leadership to connect and work together.

One of the things that Eve would like to emphasize about Independent is that they love working with others who are passionate about serving military spouse wellness. They are always looking for others who want to volunteer. 

‘We want to create a space on the internet where spouses can come and know that we can speak to their needs.” 

Evie did give a piece of advice for those milspouse entrepreneurs looking to start a nonprofit: look to see if there is one already created that is similar to the one you want to start. Start-up nonprofits have a bigger barrier than small businesses do. Make sure you are not recreating the wheel. If it does exist, share your gift with them. Not many realize that you may be putting all of your efforts into running the business instead of your mission. Make sure that your mission is not being served elsewhere. 

For more info on Evie and InDependent, visit their website and learn more about how they can help you! You can also view the entire interview below.

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Annette is a military spouse of over 21 years, mother to two teenagers, and a veteran who served in the Army for over seventeen years as a Chemical officer including a deployment to Iraq and Afghanistan. She retired and decided to trade in her boots for Converse sneakers to be able to make up for lost time with her children. Since her retirement, she has PCSd from Fort Polk, LA to Fairfax, VA to support her husband's military career. Her blog A Wild Ride Called Life™, LLC. incorporates stories from her post-military life. She shares how she lives life as being a mom and military spouse living with PTSD, anxiety, and depression. Along with writing, she also hosts a podcast titled “The Truths We Hide” where she shares her story and also hosts guests who share theirs and offer advice to others to help them know that they are not alone.  

Annette is a mentor for veterans on Veterati and for military spouses on Ementor. She has a passion for volunteering and volunteers as a mentor for TAPS, the Tragedy Assistance Program for children survivors, The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, the Trauma Survivors Network. She has also been offered a volunteer position with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention in which she will be teaching and speaking to college campuses across Northern Virginia and the DC area. 

You can check out more about Annette at the following: linktr.ee/a_wild_ride_called_life

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